Team: Spying for the Order
Word Count: ~100
A/N: Huge thanks to my darling celestialbeing1 for looking over this thing. :)
Challenge: Family Holiday Traditions challenge
( Knitted SnowmenCollapse )
Title: Not Lovin' It
Team: Spy for the Order (it's so bad, it's Unforgivable)
Challenge: Garish Americanisms Challenge
Word count: 3 x 100
Author's Note: “I'm Lovin' It” is McDonald's latest slogan. Obviously, Severus is not lovin' it. I think I need to go into hiding after writing this.
Lifting the can of Bud Light(TM) to his lips, Severus noticed it was empty. Reclined fully back in his La-Z-Boy(R) recliner, he discovered he couldn't reach his wand.
“ 'Mione!” Severus bellowed so he could be heard all the way to the farthest reaches of their double-wide trailer.
Hermione, wearing a pink pair of Juicy Couture(TM) sweat pants, tan Uggs(R) and a grey tanktop with her black bra straps showing shuffled into the living room. “What?”
Severus kept his eyes glued to NASCAR on TV, and lifted the empty can. “Here, worthless, make yourself useful and get me a brewski.”
Seeing Severus laying there like a dead catfish, in his Dorito(R) stained wife beater and B.V.D.(R) tighty-whities, she snapped, “Fetch it yer'self!”
“Com'on!” he whined, his hand flopping lazily as if he could not summon the strength to do it himself, though his wand was a mere three inches beyond his grasp.
Seeing how pathetic he looked, she stomped off into the kitchen.
“And while you're in there, can you make me some nachos, babe? And add some Tobasco(R) sauce too!”
“I don't have time! I have to go pick up the twins, Earl and Vern, from the YMCA now.”
Severus shrieked, waking up from his nightmare in a cold sweat.
Hermione smoothed a comforting hand over his shivering back. “It's all right, Severus. It was just a nightmare. You're probably nervous about Portkeying to the symposium in Hoot Owl, Oklahoma tomorrow.”
Severus could remember every gory detail: the velour of his chair rubbing against his skin, the piss-water beer he was swilling, empty cheeseburger wrappers featuring a giant “M” strewn about the floor, and country western music that played during TV commercials.
“Don't worry, I have us booked at a Motel 6 right next to a McDonald's.”
Title: More Than One of the Five Senses
Team Name: Order
Word Count: 7 X 100
Challenge: Closet Noise Challenge
A/N: Okay, the cloakroom is a really LARGE walk-in closet, it's still a closet.
With a sneer set upon his lip, Severus reached out and plucked the single long curly dark brunette hair that clung to his otherwise immaculate black robes. Scanning the long row of professorial robes that hung in the staff cloakroom, he noticed that Professor Granger's robes were at the other far end and could not have possibly transferred the wandering stand of hair onto his by accident.
Slipping his teaching robes on, he could detect the lingering scent of verbena and lavender clinging to the fabric.
He knew of only one person who used hand cream with that singular fragrance.
( Cut for a bit of naughtiness...Collapse )